Fin Chat with my Cat

Cat Chat, January 2020, undisclosed location.

“Now that the holiday hangover is over, shall we talk about sorting out the finances?”
Bagheera asked me, in a stern kitty voice.

“Yes, what is it that you want to talk about?”
I responded nervously.

“You know it very well, don’t you?”
Holding my credit card statement in her paws.

“Maybe”
trying to look away

“Maybe? Let’s see what we’ve got here
Dinner $65
Smartwatch $516
Cappuccino $5.65..
Should I carry on?”
Pointing towards the catnip, soliciting bribe shamelessly.

“Okay, let’s forget the past and be like finance, i.e. forward looking”,
I responded, sliding an ounce of catnip toward her.

Stacking away the catnip for future use, began her rant...

“I better have your investing plans ready by end of the day,
I don’t want to worry about my wet food and dry food..
and the catnip.. and the laser toy batteries.. and new cat trees..
Also, when will you get a new gaming chair,
this one is no more fun with all the teeth and claw holes I’ve already poked.. Don’t you think I deserve better?..”

The comeback

Interrupting her midway, I picked up a notepad and a pen.
“Okay, okay! I will not let my lousy planning affect your lifestyle.
I’m on it straightaway”

Like a good cat-servant,
I obeyed the orders and wrote up my investment plans for the year.

“Retirement contributions: increase to 12% of gross income
Other investments on average:
Real Estate Investment: $500 per month
M1 finance portfolio: $500 per month
Other Stocks and ETFs: $1000 per month
How does this sound to you?”

“Alright, Sounds okay to me.
I’ll need to see the details later, but I’ll let you go for now”

“Thank you for being so understanding. Can I play my Xbox now?”

“Scratch my chin for 3.75 seconds first, not more, not less
and then do whatever you want”

“Of course, master”
I keep the notepad aside and start scratching the cat’s chin

“Prrrrr..Prrrrr. Prrrr.”

Fin Chat with Cat ends for the day.
The purrstorm fills the room.

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Updated: February 21, 2021 by FinPins